Class Management

Students know that I have a violent temper and that at any moment I might snap and go nuclear on them. I might punch a wall or kick a desk across the room or sweep my computer off the desk–though I haven’t had to do these things for weeks because the threat alone keeps the kids in line. I tell them that I have been to prison for a violent crime (released on a vague technicality) and that my first wife disappeared under “mysterious” circumstances. When I stare down chatty, disruptive students I think very dark thoughts about them, which causes them to gulp the air and settle down quickly. Every teacher needs to keep a raging psychotic maniac in his back-pocket and flash it to the class once in a while.
Mad as a Hatter

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