Today is April fool’s Day and so I will–as I do every year–pull a fast one on my freshmen. Last year I hired Doug and Stan to dress as jack-booted thugs from the National Institute of Health and burst into the classroom with the news that an African student who had been absent for a few days (he went to Disneyland with his family) had contracted Ebola and that they would be locking down our classroom and quarantining each of our families in their homes…I really got them with that one! This year we took a political angle: Doug and Stan arrived as Homeland Security officers–full costume with badges, handcuffs, sunglasses and plastic assault rifles was only $39.00 on Amazon!– and proceeded to pull each boy out one at a time and accuse him of consuming pornography on a device that was also used for schoolwork. This was a felonious sex crime and they would spend the next twenty years taking it up the behind in federal prison. You should have seen their faces! Though the funny part was that nobody denied anything!