My pornstar student teacher (I call her that because she reminds me of Sasha Grey, especially when she wears tight plaid skirts and high black stockings) bends forward to help a student at his desk and I sneak up behind, raise my hand as if ready to spank her–the class erupts into laughter. She turns around and I am itching the back of my head with that hand–more laughter. She turns, hands on hips, confronts me: “What just happened?” I shrug, hands held open, eyes rolled up toward the ceiling in mock innocence–then I let out an enormous fart and the class explodes, kids falling on the ground in laughter. She stalks out shaking her head, jaw tight. I take a long, graceful bow! My class loves me!