I learned today that some students are dirtbags who have no purpose in life and should be killed. I had assigned an essay asking students to write about me and some students used that as an opportunity to blame me for their own miserable lives. I asked for the truth but I didn’t get it. Instead I got comments like: “You are the worst teacher I have ever had.” and “I am deeply afraid of you.” and “You need serious counseling.” over and over again. Obviously some scumbag is playing a joke and orchestrating this slander campaign, and I intend to get to the bottom of it. I began by giving everybody an F on their essay and then counting their essay for 100% of their final grade. I explained that “sincerity” was the only requirement and that I was deeply disappointed to read so many insincere thoughts. Sierra asked how I could be sure that the essays were insincere. “Because they were mean,” I said. “Nobody is sincerely mean because nobody wants to feel anger and hatred all of the time. Happiness is our true nature, so the only sincere thoughts are the ones that express gratitude and kindness and appreciation and awe.” The class sighed, but agreed to do another draft. I can’t wait to read them!