Inspirational Speech

Give up. That’s what I tell my classes every year. Just give up, give in and die. You are not going anywhere. You will not live the life your parents lived. Global warming will crush you. Terrorists will kill you. There are too many people and you are a cancer on the world. Then I wait for them to object, to discover meaning in their lives. Sometimes a child will say, “I live for God.” and I laugh openly. Another child will say, “Are you telling us to kill ourselves?” And I say, “Not right away. This is an exercise in finding solutions.” And they say, “But we don’t know anything about these problems and we don’t care.” And I say, “And THAT is why your lives are meaningless! Now go find your true purpose and change the world!” Then they get quiet and stare at each other. Usually, someone will say, “Why don’t you kill yourself, Mr. Newhart?”
“Because I’ve found my purpose,” I tell them. “Inspiring children!”
Enough Is Enough


One thought on “Inspirational Speech

  1. Pingback: That stupid towel… | The Hempstead Man

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