I was watching the Dog Whisperer the other night–the Dog Whisper is a teacher favorite: Cesar is incredible–and thought that many of his techniques for controlling dog behaviors could be used in the high school classroom. Of course I am not allowed to pin students or pinch them or touch them in anyway, but it is a simple system of rewards and punishments–classic learning theory–and today the technology does exist for me to apply specific, directed, immediate feedback to students without touching them. Now I’m not an idiot. I recognize that many people would object to shock collars for teenagers, but I’m merely asking for the sake of exploring an idea without preconceptions that we check our revulsions and ask: would it work? Would delivering timely, mildly uncomfortable negative feedback in the form of an electric shock help us to control unruly classroom behaviors? I think the honest answer has to be yes. I guess the next question is: how do we make this technology acceptable to the public? And here the answer is simple: we give kids options–color options, style options, different designs with mixed materials–some people might like hard plastic whereas others will prefer leather, for example. We also need a control board so that the teacher can deliver the shock individually. Obviously I don’t want Lisa to receive a shock for something Johnny did because the Wifi is imprecise! We also need the ability to adjust the intensity of the shock because some kids are more sensitive than others and we want to personalize this as much as possible. Anyway, do we have any developers out there who want to assist me with bringing this revolution to market?